Axe throwing is a culture unto itself. No matter where you’re from or your particular background, axe throwers, as a whole, have their own culture. The vests, the stickers. The day drinking and superstitions. It’s all part of the tiny nation that is axe throwing. In an effort to catalog and share all of the finer points of this lil’ cutey pahtootie sport, the cunning linguists at Axe Badger HQ have gone afield to learn the language and dialect of axe throwers, and here is what they found. This axe throwing vocabulary represents the newest, most accurate translations of what a passer-by may here when walking past a gathering of axe throwers.
Friends With Benefits
When both people drop during the same round in a match.
Because you got together just to hang out and ended up getting screwed
Casper Cosplay
When someone uses too much chalk.
“I think he’s probably 45% calcium, now. “
Point-U-Pine
Someone who becomes more prickly when they’re down on points.
“As soon as they were down by 4, they started growling at me?”
Urban 4
When your axe lands on a low-scoring or no-scoring zone.
“Huh. I hit the venue logo. Urban 4.”
Wiggle Juice
Jell-O shots
It’s a common courtesy to look away while people try to tongue-wrestle wiggle juice.
The Orphanage
A thrower who excitedly takes any free axe offered.
If there’s space, then there’s a place.
Lane Brain
The phenomenon of forgetting absolutely every part of one’s throw as soon as a match starts.
What is this thing in my hand? Are these my feet? What do those do?
Tourney Toes
Foot soreness on the Monday after a marathon weekend.
“Sorry, boss. I can’t come in today. Yeah. Yeah. It’s the tourney toes again…”
An Ate-y One
When someone leaves a venue to pick up food.
Sally finished her match and decided it was ate-y one time.
The Brown Arena
The bathrooms.
“Where’s Broofus?”
“Oh, he had a match in the brown arena.”
Librarian
A very quiet scorekeeper.
“We’re on what round?!
The Axe Tax
When a thrower buys an axe at a tourney for no discernible reason.
“Wait. Wait. I went to Choptober with 4 axes and came back with seven? What the hell?”
Hot Noods
Throwing badly, but everything still sticks.
“Franky is trying to throw with wheelies on. He broke his nose on the boards but it’s all hot noods anyway.”
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