Our axe bags are, I think, one of the most interesting elements of our sport. They can reveal so much about where an axe thrower has been, what they feel like they absolutely need, and how they’re doing, mentally.
So I decided to dig through my own bag and share the results with you fine folk. It would be a lie to say that I wasn’t at all surprised by what I found in there.
The Axe Bag Itself
Here it is, in all its glory. A Savior brand Equipment Specialist Series bag, (30 inches). I’ve had this axe bag (okay, rifle bag, but for our purposes) for a few years now and, honestly, I have zero complaints about it. Point in fact, during the creation of this article, I came to appreciate it even more for the amount of nonsense it’s able to carry.
At any rate, I’ll be documenting each compartment separately, starting with the top zipper, moving to the bottom zipper/secret velcro pouch behind it, and then finally the most boring part: the axes.
Section 1: top zipper
1: My very first marathon tournament was at Urban Open Baltimore, maybe 4 years ago? And the net result of that first marathon tourney was twofold: first, I promised myself I’d never do another marathon tournament (I promise I broke), and second a case of chub rub between my thighs that made me immobile for about 3 days. on the 4th day, I bought some body-glide to help prevent that level of pain from happening to me again. Dear reader: I’ve never used this product. It just comes along with me in my axe bag wherever I go.
2: My chalk.
3: A patch that fell off my bag, because I couldn’t be bothered to sew it.
4: A sharpener that kinda works, but is mostly just to make me feel like I’m trying.
5: A really cool Brant & Cochran bottle opener Chøpman got me.
6: Pepto Bismol. Because of street meat adventures.
7: A bunch of badger-related stickers/buttons given to me by Zombie.
8: Stickers from me and from others. The glitter of our sport.
9: An H’s Axes leather patch.
10: A 2008 Obama campaign pin. I need to be so clear about this: I have no idea why this is in my bag. I have no recollection of putting it there. It’s a mystery.
11: My to-award 81 coin.
12: A ship belt buckle that Chøpman gave me. Just cause.
13: A piece of target. I don’t quite remember, but I think I was going to create a character, Chippy, and take pictures of them around axe houses giving unhinged advice. It never materialized, but I kept the piece of wood in my axe bag, anyway.
14: A fidget clicker that was, at one point, a French macaroon. I broke it almost instantly.
Section 2: Bottom Zipper
1: A science device from Pendragon. I forget I have this every single time I need it.
2: One of them axe handle shapers from Roarockit.
3: Cords of course. Goes with No. 4, a charging plug, but for some reason I felt the need to separate the two.
5: An Axe Frog (to hang one’s axe from their belt). Remember when people did this in the sport? I bought this guy, used it once, and have just held onto it, since. I’ll probably be buried with it someday.
6 & 8: More stickers.
7: Lil’ Tiny Hands via Baba Yaga.
9: Leather sheath for a Flying Fox that I completely forgot I had.
10: Sticker Bags that I ignore using for all the stickers in my bag. Mostly stuff from IATC and my own badger stickers that I never ever hand out because of self-esteem.
11: A slide whistle for dropped axes.
12: A little bug figurine I never put together, and never will.
13: A hand towel I planned to use for my sweaty hands but only used to apply oil to my axe and then never used again.
14: A section of axe handle I’m holding onto. I’ve actually kept every piece of every hatchet I’ve cut down. I’m going to make a necklace out of em, someday.
15: Caz Anderson’s player card.
16: I’ve had this Elk Jerky for a bunch of years. It is the wrong color, now, but I refuse to get rid of it. I’m pretty sure I saw it moving around, once, and now I feel like it’s my child.
Section 3: secret velcro section
1: A towel Heavin’ Stephen gave to me at the Urban Open. I want to steal the idea of it as a shirt but also don’t want to take his IP. It’s a real struggle, sometimes.
2: My notebook for all axe badger things. Like, all of them. This is the most important thing I own, blog-wise, and it has all my secrets. If you see it at a venue sometime, steal it from me and learn all my dark thoughts.
Okay. It’s mostly me writing nonsense to avoid making eye contact while at tourneys and such. Don’t tell.
3: The very first axe sheath I ever owned, which I hate very much because it’s useless, but I refuse to get rid of because I’m like that one character from Labyrinth.
And finally, the axes:
- A Red Beaver Custom hatchet (Mini Reaper)
- A Kevin Bradley Flying Fox that I’m using because my Clutch Axe is with Adeline in the Pittsburgh area.
1: An Adeline big axe that I haven’t been able to figure out, yet, but I’m trying.
2. A Council Tools Boys Axe that Chøpman made beautiful.
Bonus, secret: My little feetsies in that last picture. They help me dance around.
And there we have it. I cart all this nonsense with me everywhere, and I think it’s made me even shorter.
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