One of the great things about big events is they can bring out some big surprise performances. Watching the Open Tournament at APATC 24, I saw a lot (A LOT) of unexpected outcomes.
Some of my favourite conversations on the sidelines this year were how common this phenomenon is, and what we all think is behind it. But witnessing a good friend play outside himself, and topple a few of the Pacific Region’s biggest names, I just had to know in his words, what he thought had brought out this exceptional result.
My plan was to take feedback from a few throwers and piece together the different responses into a collective article, but what he came back with felt so well considered, and holistic, I thought I should just let it stand on its own. Without further ado then my friend Christian Scandura aka The Heckler.
FINDING THE PATH
This weekend I participated in the Asia Pacific Axe Throwing Championship and placed 9th. After an abysmal start to the Seeding games I was left searching for my clutches, wondering why they were always going up and slightly to the right or left every throw. It took my first 3 seeding games to figure out that I was stepping onto my toes on my trailing foot instead of planting from the heel to get my force. This realisation was the start of my shift and in my next 2 games I was calm and ready to take on any challenge.
That was until I faced Mando in my 2nd A bracket match. First round, I was up 2 points and offered the clutch. There was a pause while he considered if 100% clutch was the right move. And I decided to take the pressure off him and go points. (this is by no means a dig, he and I had a long chat after the game and ironed any doubts we had out about the whole exchange). But then I hit the guiltiest 3 imaginable.
This put the entire match on its head for me, had I have just trusted my clutch game (which by the end of the tournament was around a 74.1% hit rate only slightly lower than my bullseye hit rate) I know that regardless of the outcome, my confidence would remain intact as I would have backed myself when the pressure was there. He then proceeded to knock me down 3-1.
THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CONFIDENCE AND CONTROL
This started a long break between games which is normally my downfall as I lose any semblance of focus I have. Which brought me into a match against a big name in the tournament Bomb Diggity. For me this match was spiritual. Being in the lane with Bomb helped me find a calm I’d yet to know in the lanes.
Despite his imposing stature the man has a Zen aura of calm and calculation that can be intimidating to most but resonated with me in such a way that I left that lane changed. It flicked a switch in me that said “hey, you’re good at this, and it’s time to stop worrying about the person in the lane next to you and just focus on the wood in front of you.”
It was in that match that I found myself playing my own game, backing myself in my clutch game, and honestly, just having pure unfiltered fun. This mindset was carried into my next games.
Another big game for me was the one against Lord Snaxxident, her and I have a good rapport and always have a good time throwing together. This game was a true test of my new mindset as, surprising no one, shenanigans ensued, and fun was had. We took our “one for fun” throw at the beginning of the game as a doubles throw with our doubles axes. This break in focus would normally be it for me, the ADHD would take over and my mind would wander into realms of food, TV shows, and the longing for bed. To my surprise this did not happen. Despite the constant banter between myself and Steph the game was close, and my focus remained till the very end of the game.
This brought me to the match with our very own Aussie Badger, Ryodhai. After seeing him cleanly knock Bone Saw (another top, top thrower) down into B I was looking forward to playing with this newly confident player. The match of course did not disappoint. We pushed each other every step of the way. Barely hitting any threes and hitting clutch after clutch. This game pushed further than I thought I could go as an axe thrower. The next game with Stagger proved this thought was wrong.
FINDING ACHIEVEMENT INTERNALLY
Anyone who throws in Australia knows about Stagger. His presence is notable, and his accolades speak for themselves. I’d recently faced him during a marathon, and beaten him by staying down where necessary. I found that playing on my mind, and taking me out of my mental calm. Questions snuck in to my thoughts, doubts and re-considered tactics.
Ultimately I was able to block the intrusive thoughts, and get back to the Zen state, removing my desire for the outcome and focusing again on playing my game. In that head space I had no pressure at all. None. I entered the lanes with the idea that no matter what, I was going in there to throw my best and that I hoped it would be enough. It was another tough game where my limits were tested again and again. But throughout my thoughts never wavered and there was never a voice or doubt in my mind of what I’d do come that 5th throw. That’s just the kind of Aura these top throwers emit. The match ended 3-1 with me winning the last 2 rounds with a beautiful pair of 27’s.
In my mind I had done it, I’d matched with the best of the best and beat them. In the aftermath of the match even during the post match hug with my partner (shout out Syenna) I could sense the toll it had taken on me. The mental games at the start, and a long day of physical discipline were starting to fray me at the edges.
LESSONS LEARNED
My Final game against Mo’rdu was the last that I’d play at APATC 2024. And only while writing this can I see why it fell apart.
In my game against Mor’du I was simply not playing for the sake of playing. I wanted to win rather than improve. I had convinced myself I needed to analyze my throws and ensure perfection was achieved. Essentially, I was playing to beat Mor’du not playing to achieve my highest score. Upon reflection I think 3 things factored into why I couldn’t keep my previous mental state in this game:
Experience – Never having gone that deep in a tournament before I was hungry to go further
Fatigue – The day had taken its toll
Relationships – I did not have the same personal relationship with Mor’du as I’d had with the other throwers in my other games and therefore felt I had to live up to some expectation that was not there. The comfort was gone. The calm had been replaced with overthinking.
My biggest takeaways from this tournament will be the experience of throwing exhausted and fatigued, the feeling of calm and Zen when coming up against Bomb Diggity (and trying to replicate this and keep this as the “norm”), and a focus on throwing against myself rather than my opponent.
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