I'm literally writing this post just to use that title. Call me Carrie because this article is entirely hinging on that wordplay.
Anyway, I think you've known me long enough now, dear reader, that I may safely admit to you that I have a problem. I think it'll be a familiar one to you, so--in this space of safety and understanding--I' feel comfortable enough to admit it:
I buy way more axes than I need.
THE GREAT AXE HUNT
When I first got into this sport back in the ancient times of 2021, I bought a Marbles camp axe and named it Marshmallow. It was a thick fellow much like its new owner, but it matched my level of ability in axe throwing, inasmuch as I was very not good my first league and I could have thrown a fish at the boards and done just as well.
By my next season, I was throwing a Cold Steel Throwing Hatchet and I did well enough with that, but it wasn't quite what I wanted, stylistically. Dear reader I am a vain man, and I like having an axe that matches my mindset (especially in the early days).
Then it gets a little fuzzy. I got a Flying Fox (twice, I think), had The Appalachian Gentleman customize it into my most favorite axe ever (until IATF decided that even standard-league throwers benefitted too much from a beard), A Plumb National Victory, A couple big axes, A couple other hatches, etc. etc. etc.
FAMILIARITY IS A FRIEND
And I knew the problem even as I put up money that could have gone to food or housing: Switching axes all the time can lead to a plateau in skill level. If you're not familiar with the axe your throwing, you won't ever perfect your throw with that particular axe.
I can hear you now, reader, "But a good axe thrower should be able to throw any axe at all and do well!" And you're right, to a point. But I also believe there is a bit of symbiosis that can come from using the same axe for a long time, getting super comfortable with how it rotates and bites the board. There's a reason people have a favorite bat or hockey stick or...paddle for ping pong (?), there is a benefit to familiarity.
WHEN THE RELATIONSHIP BREAKS BAD
But there are axes out there that you shouldn't use. I don't mean because they are junk. They might be lovely axes. Great personalities. But the problem is you. People are, science has recently confirmed, different from each other--and that means there is a possibility that there are some axes that work just a lil' bit better for one person than another.
But how can you tell if it's just your greedy, hoarding eyes or its actually the axe? Well, I don't know, as I am still in recovery from buying every interesting axe I find, but here are a few ways to discover if your axe needs to be retired, or merely adjusted.
BTW I really wanted to make a steroids reference in there as a balance to retirement and I didn't. Steroids for an axe? C'mon.
YOU CAN'T GET THE AXE TO ACT LIKE YOU WANT, NO MATTER HOW YOU CHANGE YOUR THROW
By this I mean you're having trouble getting the axe to stick to the boards/land how you want, EVEN AFTER changing your starting position/how you're throwing. If nothing at all seems to make the axe work, maybe it's the axe that is the problem, right? Rule of deduction.
TRY ADJUSTING YOUR HANDLE FIRST
I have a big theory about axe throwing - it all comes down to the handle. If the handle doesn't suit your hand, you're not going to do well with the axe you're throwing. After all, it's the part of the axe that you're engaging with the most (honestly, the only part you're engaging with, unless you're into some real weird shit), so having that honed in is essential.
This likely requires some experimentation, but once you figure out the handle shape that works best for you, chances are that shape/configuration will work great on a number of other axe heads. So figure out if your axe handle is too big/too round/too whatever and adjust it a bit to fit your racoon-like hand a bit more. It may even be a matter of going from a curved handle to a straight one, or shortening your axe handle up a little bit. I don't know. I've never seen your hands. I'm just guessing at this point that you don't have hooves.
TRY GOING TO THE EXTREEEEEEEEEMMMMEEE
Let's say you're just starting out OR you are well into wasting your money for years, but feel like your axe isn't quite helping you out. Try the extremes. Test out an axe that is as light as possible, or as heavy as possible, or has as short/long a handle as possible. Chances are very high that you won't find that magical, perfect change to your game BUT you may discover you like a certain quality you hadn't experienced before.
When I first started throwing, I got hyper focused on getting a very light axe. I tried to get my axes down to 1.5 no matter what. BUT THEN I started throwing with that Plumb National, and that honker was 2.23 pounds - but I loved it, and it made me switch to heavier axes in general. Had I not given in to that extreme change, I feel like I'd still be chasing my idea of what worked best for me, rather than what actually did.
ARE YOU JUST BORED WITH WHAT YOU'RE THROWING?
Listen: boredom is a real thing. I get it. Call it vanity or call it hoarding or whatever, but if you don't like the axe you're throwing because it doesn't hit your cool factor, that's a fair enough reason to consider getting a new axe.
It's an expensive reason to do it, but it is a reason. While I'm not going to tell you "no," I will tell you that you should consider what you like best about your current axe (handle shape, weight, bit length) and make sure those features are present in your future axe. This'll help you not loose as much familiarity with your throw. And to be clear, here, I'm not suggesting that you must do this--maybe you just want something different for difference's sake, but going from a 1.5 half-hatchet with a 13.5-inch handle to a Bucher with a 17-inch handle may be...jarring.