I have a big love for Bob, our resident pro-thrower. He cares about the axe throwing community we have, is always willing to teach and talk, and is a fixture of Meduseld Meadery. The dude is also a phenom, and as such carries with him a ranking of (currently, as of yesterday evening) 29th.
29th out of all of us, gang.
And that means, more or less, that anyone from the meadery is coming up against a brick wall of a thrower during league nights/tourneys.
Now, it's rare that I find myself facing Bob for the top spot in a tourney. Outside of my last two leagues, I typically finish in the 4-5th spot. For whatever reason (luck, a slightly different throw, being in 2 simultaneous leagues, who knows) I've finished 2nd in both our Wednesday and Thursday league tourneys this past go-round. And that feels real, real good.
But I kinda knew the game was up once I was battling against Bob for the first spot last night. Because the dude had a perfect season, threw an average of 76.5, and...I mean...he's Bob.
And I can recognize how being pretty damned sure of a loss, especially during tourney times, can make one feel very low. But I came away from last night feeling pretty top notch about ending up in second - and I realized, as ever, that success doesn't have to look the same for everyone.
I threw really well for me. And that's what matters most.
I'm likely not going to get to Bobert levels anytime soon. As the old saying goes: comparison is the thief of joy. So rather than kicking dirt because I didn't, somehow, manage to beat a fellow thrower who is leagues ahead of me, skills-wise, I instead decided to focus on how well I threw compared to myself.
And baby, what I found was pretty encouraging:
For instance, my average score per axe was 4.8. That was, in fact, better than Bob's average of 4.79 for the night. And a 4.8 average is, frankly, amazing for me. I likewise managed to win every match except for my two matches against Bob himself. And considering the heavy hitters we have in our Wednesday league, that's no small feat.
Now, I could have framed the entire night as a "never good enough" situation, but life is very short, this game is goofy, and I'm just here for a good time. So eff that. I decided to recognize what I was able to accomplish - namely, doing better than my typical performance in league tourneys. And my babies, I did that with aplomb.
I did well in matches against so many people I respect.
It's easy to focus in on the "big bad" of the league (Bob, in this case), but my home leagues have a'plenty of really strong, really outstanding throwers. Point in fact, I played against (and somehow won against) Chøpman twice. And that guy is such a consistent, skilled thrower. He typically manages to get me in a match without breaking much of a sweat.
Being able to sneak a few wins past him felt really, really empowering. Add in wins against two other throwers who, often enough, can get me on the ropes pretty easily, and I can start telling myself that finishing 2nd is a pretty ding-dang high accomplishment. Bob or no, my tourney night was a successful one, all told.
Again, it's a matter of what game you're playing: yours, or theirs.
Bob, and by extension all throwers who are number-ranked or constant podium-finishers, are playing a very different game than I'm playing. And, frankly, I'm in no great hurry to start playing their game. I can't begin to explain what that game is. Some kind of figher-pilot checkers or something.
But I'm playing my game. And while it's not gonna get me past Bob or his inhuman ability to be perfect whilst throwing, it is going to help me throw the very best I can throw. The trick of it, I think, is making sure I don't compare myself to any of those super-strong throwers. At least not when it comes to deciding if I did well or not.
So maybe, at this point, getting second place is as close as I'll get to winning a league tourney. Maybe I have loads of work to do before I can challenge Bob and really make an impact on my chances of beating him. And, when it comes down to it, so long as I'm still having fun and getting better league-after-league, that's fine with me.
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