Sep 283 min read

LOOK OUT For These 6 Axe Scam Texts.

a text message from The Axe Badger with SCAM written across it three times in red.

Only a few know it, but--contractually--I'm obligated to make axe throwers aware of current scams and data-mining efforts by nefarious agents. Yes, it's a thankless job and yes, it takes away from my time otherwise writing entertaining posts for your little, ferret-y eyes. But as an axe-throwing news source, I understand the importance of carrying these messages to the people.

Now, I don't want to call out the throwers who fell for these, but the IATF anti-scam division was kind enough to provide screencaps to me, gracious as they are, in an effort to protect axe throwers from these malicious attempts at parting our community from its hard-earned money.

After all, there are plenty of other ways for this sport to do exactly that.

So here they are: the current axe scam texts floating through the community:

AXE SCAM TEXT ONE: IDENTITY THEFT ATTEMPTS

The scammer pretends to be a trusted member of the community, namely an axe venue, and offer a deal or a sweepstakes you've won - but the gift can only be handed off with a confirmation of one's identity. Don't fall for it like this poor axe thrower.

Remember: your identity is worth at least two Jell-O shots.

AXE SCAM TEXT TWO: FAKE AXE RECALL

a screencap of a fake phone conversation implying the receiver should return all of their axes to an unknown address

This particular scam uses one of the most ancient fears known to late-stage capitalism: recalls on favorite products. The giveaways here are numerous: namely, an axe maker will never admit to a universal issue with their axes.

C'mon, folx. Read a book.

AXE SCAM TEXT THREE: SEX SELLS

a screencap of a fake text conversation where the sender pretends to send a message to the wrong person, and then trick the receiver into the scam.

This one is pretty familiar (real talk, I get a version of this scam A LOT. Odd for someone who's pretty deep in the asexual spectrum but you know, people don't really do a good job researching marks) to many of us: Someone acts like they got a wrong number, and then try to pivot into sexy time talk in order to get you on the hook.

Unfortunately, this is the one that gets the most axe throwers - because suggesting that an axe thrower is very good at axe throwing things is a surefire way to get whatever you want out of 'em.

AXE SCAM TEXT FOUR: THE SIMPLE FORM FILL

screencap of phone messages where the sender is attempting to represent themselves as an axe venue

If there is anything axe throwers are good at, outside of absolutely crushing greasy food and waking up on the Monday after a tourney and despairing the "real world," it's filling out forms.

But pay attention! This particular scam is trying to weasel its way into your unaware brain and have you give away important data!

Here's a Hashtag Badger Truth Bomb for you: it's cool to force venues to track you down for a pre-tourney form. Everyone appreciates that shit.

AXE SCAM TEXT FIVE: IMPERSONATION FOR PROFIT

a phone text conversation where the sender is attempting to scam the receiver into buying $350 dollars in Applebees Gift Cards for bail.

Scammers don't have to work hard to take on the identity of friends and family. But they don't stop there.

In fact, they'll use those existing connections to get money or personal info from you before you even freaking realize what's happening.

Here's a trick, from your buddy Badger: don't ever do nothing for nobody.

AXE SCAM TEXT SIX: ORGAN HARVESTING

screencap of phone messages where the sender is attempting to trick the receiver into going to a location for organ harvesting

The least common but the most horrific: several axe throwers have fallen victim to scammers attempting to get their inside parts. While the purpose behind these attempts isn't known, I can tell you what is: the majority of axe throwers who have fallen victim to this scam eventually have their organs returned to them.

As it turns out, body parts that are pickled in cheap, yellow beer and clogged with Doordash orders aren't really that valuable.

So there you go, dear reader. I hope you're able to avoid these scams and keep your money/identity/inside bits exactly where they should be.