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Writer's pictureMatthew Kabik

League Tourney Night: My 3 Goals

image of league axe throwers posing in a meadery

It's here: the one night every ~2 months that feels like a high school dance. Where the performance of the past 7 weeks disappears and I get the chance to achieve greatness. Greatness that, if we're being honest, dries up about 2 weeks after once we start the whole cycle again.


As someone who's had...25 league tourneys?, I feel that some of the thrill certainly escapes me. Not to say I don't see it as a special, fun night to really dive into what I've learned and what I still need to work on.


It also reminds me...okay just stay with me here...it reminds me of the scene in the Lord of The Rings where the one Hobbit is showing off his prize-winning pumpkin. Like, Okay listen. Listen. It's like when that Hobbit is showing off his gourd to all the other Hobbits and everyone is really impressed. But like - nobody outside of that community would be, necessarily, impressed. An elf might be like "this seems like an achievement, for you," but they wouldn't stop everything they are doing to tell Galadriel "Shit, grrrrlll, you gotta see this PUMPKIN ol' Hobbit Farmer Cotton got. Shit!"


And I guess that's kinda what a league tournament becomes for a lot of us: a chance to show off the fruits of our effort which, ultimately, doesn't make a lick of difference outside of the league community we're a part of. UNLESS you're telling coworkers who have no idea what axe throwing really is and you do well. Normies seem impressed by getting a podium finish in stuff like this.


But 25 of anything still takes some of the magic out of it, enormo-gourd or no, so I've found myself setting little goals to achieve that are either effort-based or simply personal achievements. I'd like to share those now in an effort to demonstrate that tourney-time, whether brand new or old news, can still be a chance to create learning opportunities for yourself.


MY FIRST LEAGUE TOURNEY NIGHT GOAL: DON'T OVER EAT.

We often do a potluck. I often forget to each lunch (a surprise for many of my readers who have seen this lil' thicc body, I'm sure), so I have a bad habit of eating, like, a full meal just before the tourney. Generally I'm okay, but one time we did a Thanksgiving themed potluck and I ate a full plate of that PLUS a slice of pizza. It was a rough night, dear reader. Delicious, but rough.


MY SECOND LEAGUE TOURNEY NIGHT GOAL: DON'T FORGET LITERALLY EVERYTHING I'VE WORKED ON THIS LEAGUE.

I suspect it's not just me, but many tourneys I go to coincide with a sort of selective amnesia. I forget to keep my back straight. I forget my process for throwing, I forget what an axe is...you know how it goes.


But I'm hoping this tourney to, you know, actually apply my skillset to what I'm doing. I finished 4th in the league this time around - and I was 2nd until the last night of throwing - so I'm hopeful that I've engrained some of that skill into my tourney experience. But, I think it comes down to staying relaxed and having a good time, which brings me to my next goal:


MY THIRD LEAGUE TOURNEY NIGHT GOAL: DON'T GET GLUM WHEN KNOCKED OUT, AND ACTUALLY CELEBRATE THE LEAGUE.

A while ago, I'd get very frustrated with myself when I got knocked out early. Then, I'd get glum about it, but would quickly recover and just accept my fate. But I want to do even better than that.


What I'd love, honestly, is to get knocked out (whenever that happens) and then immediately switch to "celebrating these people and this league" mode. Don't get me wrong, I really want to do the very best I can - but it seems so effing wasteful to take it seriously once my fate is sealed. Like, being a grump about losing isn't going to make it so I magically go back in time and win, instead - so why not make the night worth it and have fun? I'm throwing with people who are great to be around, we have a healthy league, there will be free food and mead. Just get into that, Badger. You hear me?! Have some gottdam fun on this planet!




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