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Writer's pictureMatthew Kabik

#JustAxeThoughts: Maybe I've Been Too Kind?


A cartoon heart with an X over it.

I try to live life by a few rules. One of those rules, just after "try to avoid staring into the void so long that you forget to breathe," is this: be more kind than you are. I try to extend, to everyone I interact with, a level of loving-kindness that they may or may not deserve. Yes, dear friends, I'm what the Alpha-male world would call a Beta (and what the rest of the world would call "not an asshole").


BUT I've come to realize that kindness can take many forms, and one of them is being...how to phrase it...non-strategic during axe throwing matches. For a long time, I've felt that "leaving the door open" (that is to say, making sure there is an opportunity for my opponent to tie or even win) is always the best option, compared to "shutting the door" (throwing to go out of reach of my opponent). Generally, I think it's good manners, outside of a tournament, to make sure you're considerate and kind, and to give the people you throw against a real opportunity for achievement, if at all possible.


Caveat: I'm not a really good thrower. In the case above, I'm talking about my matches against throwers who are equal or less experienced than myself. There are PLENTY of throwers who wipe the boards with me, and they don't really need me to leave the door open for them. The door is open. Wide open. It's an airfield, it's so open.


WHAT EXACTLY AM I TALKING ABOUT?

Great question, me.


During matches, especially the last throw, I often consider what I can do to make sure I'm staying even with my fellow thrower. So if I'm up by, say, 4, I might go for the clutch so they could safely get a bull and win the round should I miss.


Or I go up with my opponent, even if I'm only down by 2 or 4, rather than wait to see if they land their clutch.


This, I think, is often an expected thing: the courtesy of the sport. But it also can lead to losing a whole bunch because I, as a thrower, was not trying to win nearly so much as I was trying to be courteous to fellow throwers.


WHAT I'M DOING THIS LEAGUE:

As an experiment, I've decided to play my current league without my typical, non-strategic mindset. I'm not trying to be an ass, exactly, but I'm also trying to make it a point to win.


And for some of you dear readers, I'm sure you're reading that and trying to figure out how much of a dolt I must be. OF COURSE I should play to win. WTF. Badger? Seriously?!




But it is a big jump for me. Like many of you, your league is your axe fam. You care about their happiness and enjoy their company. I don't want to come off as a jerk who is known for going only for the win, and not for a good, fun match.


So I'm trying to find that balance. I am not being a serious Sally about it, but I'm also not letting myself get drawn into notions of being a "good sport" when it comes to risking a loss. It looks like this:


  • If I'm up out of reach, I go for the clutch.

  • If I'm up by 2 and a bull will force my opponent to go clutch (to tie), I stay down.

  • If my opponent is up by 1-5 and goes clutch, I wait.

  • If we're tied, I do whatever my opponent wants (if they are new), or go for clutch (if they are a strong thrower).



REALLY, THOUGH?


Now, in the spirit of honesty, I HAVE NOT done that third bullet, yet. If my opponent goes clutch I am still HELLA COMPELLED to go up with them. I know I shouldn't if I want to increase my odds of winning, but damn. That makes me, personally, feel like a toad.


But those other 3 are easier to stomach. And maybe everyone is throwing that way already, and this is all new to me, but it is a big change to my typical mindset when throwing.


And, now that I think of it, that mindset was probably something like: "create a chance for everyone to feel like a champion." I think that is still a good guiding principle, and maybe that's the right choice. But I realized recently that I wasn't including myself in that mantra.


So now, maybe, my guiding principle is "get them points, son" or even "come correct or get corrected."



THE RESULTS (SO FAR)

Now listen, we've only just completed the 2nd week of the league, so this is hella preliminary, but: I'm in second place, currently, with a record of 9-1-1(OTL). I don't yet have those pangs of being a jerk to other throwers, and I have yet to find graffiti in the bathroom of Meduseld that says disparaging things about me, so I think I'm finding that balance. I'm hopeful that by being more strategic in my throwing, I'll be able to get out of my perpetual state of finishing 4th or 5th in the league, and 4th or 5th in tourneys. Here's to hoping!


Even so, there's a big part of my mind that reminds me: you're not competing against the other thrower. You're competing with yourself. And that's likely true. Two good axe throwers don't necessarily need to be strategic all the time - they don't lose to each other, they lose to themselves. But I'm not anywhere close to being a top thrower, and do need to think about going for clutch vs. staying down vs. big axe and all that jazz.


So, anyway, maybe this post was more for me than for your big, beautiful eyes, but I think it's something that axe throwers, generally, should consider:


At what point does kindness and strategy come to blows, and who should you let win?


OKAY TWO THINGS REAL QUICK:

1. I tried to end this one like Carrie Bradshaw and I feel like I did.

2. INSIDE YOU ARE TWO WOLVES. ONE IS KINDNESS AND ONE IS STRATEGY. OKAY THAT'S IT GOODBYEEEEEE.



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