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Writer's pictureMatthew Kabik

How to Prepare for Round 1


Image of Mortal Combat round 1 screen

The Wilson Cup, named after a character from Home Improvement, is the shining grail of our sport's penultimate tourney. And while precious few of us will ever get into the winner's circle of the IATC, we can certainly use the pomp and circumstance to hone our skills, make new friends, and stare at our axes after we throw anything other than a premier clutch/bullseye like it was the axe's fault. Pro-truth: it's not the axes fault. It's your fault. Accept it. Move on.


But let's not get ahead of ourselves - the first step is to throw Round 1 at your home venue (I mean I guess the first step is qualifying, but let's not make this into a novel), and that in itself is a right of passage/takes some skillful work. But worry not, your erstwhile badger is here to provide help.




GO FOR A PRACTICE 75 BEFORE ROUND 1

You're going to throw 75 times for Round 1, and you're gonna go up for clutch every 5th throw. Then yer gonna throw 15 big axes.


Now, I dunno how other axe houses do it, but that's very not typical for most league nights I've attended. And when things are different, they can feel different. And that's no good for your little muscle-memory work, is it now, bub?


By doing a practice 75 (maybe a few, if you can manage it, alongside 15 big axes), you will familiarize yourself with how it feels. I know this is some big brain thinking, but stick with me: if you do a thing as practice before doing a thing for real, you'll probably do better.




FRAME IT RIGHT: TAKE IT SERIOUSLY, BUT NOT, LIKE, ULTRA-SERIOUSLY

The very first time I qualified for Round 1, I approached the first...I dunno...30 throws like every single bullseye I missed would result in a puppy being told it was a bad puppy.


But then, fortunately, someone else I was throwing with started laughing and talking between sets of throws, and that helped me step off of my serious-face throwing and get a little bit loose. Getting comfortable helped me throw a bit better, and deffo helped me enjoy the day a whole lot more.




DON'T GET PRECIOUS ABOUT HITTING/MISSING PREMIER BULLS AND PREMIER CLUTCHES

Nothing sinks someone better than getting hung up on how you threw your last throw. Don't let a 3 or a touch-clutch spoil your next throw--gub forbid your next 3 throws. Just remember: time is ephemeral. You'll be dead before you're ready. Nothing matters. Surrender to the void. Or, to put it a different way: your last throw doesn't matter. Your current throw is what matters--so focus on that.




THIS IS LIKELY AS FAR AS MANY OF US WILL GET FOR THIS YEAR'S IATC, SO FREAKING SOAK IT IN, FRIEND-O

I don't mean to crush your dreams, truly. But if we look at averages, chances are that you're not gonna make it to Round 2. Hell, I'm confident I won't. But that just means I need to make it a point to really enjoy Round 1. I mean, I'm not gonna leave all that fun and camaraderie on the table for whoever DOES qualify for Round 2 to take with them to Toronto.


Instead, I'm planning to have a blast. I'm gonna cheer on my fellow throwers. I'm gonna wear a special tee shirt that makes me feel cute and drink mead and blow the mead horn like only a little Jewish guy with Norwegian ancestry can (respectfully, and only when it won't ruin someone else's throw).


Round 1 is, at the very core of it, a weird as hell way to decide who gets to go to the championship of a sport. And baby, we gotta appreciate that oddity as it comes.



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