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Writer's pictureMatthew Kabik

Don't think twice, it's alright: stop doubting your 5th throw decisions.



I've noticed something, dear reader.


As I shuffle around on this mortal coil and begin to get familiar with axe throwing in particular, I have discovered I do, in fact, have a snap-judgement prejudice. And that prejudice happens when someone looks at me like they don't even know how an axe got in their hands, and wait to see what I'm going to do for my 5th throw.


And for a long time, I 'd actually discuss it with them. I'd waste moments of my (surely) limited life talking about what made sense. What made the most sense for us to do. After all, it's in the ding dang rules:



1. Once reaching the 5th throw of any given round in regular play, both players are encouraged to confer with each other about their intentions for their final axe. At that time:

1. Players may declare their intention to call Bullseye,

2. Players may declare their intention to call Clutch,

3. A player may decide to not make a call at this time, waiting to hear what their opponent intends to throw first or simply wanting their opponent to throw first.


So, you know, I did it that way for a really long time. AND I'll be quick to point out I'll still confer with my opponent if there is a chance we can go to big axe, or if they have some circumstance wherein going for clutch physically difficult (because I'm not a shmuck).


THE GRUMPS BEGIN

But as I got more confident in going for clutch, I also started getting really impatient with people who waffled and wibbled on the 5th throw. I mean, I guess I get it, but as so often is said in this sport: you're throwing against yourself. So trying to weasel your opponent to make a decision so your decision is better feels..I don't know...rat fink-y? I t feels like you're being a rat fink to me, anyway.


And yes, I can hear your arguments, here. "What if it's a new thrower? What if they could win if you miss the clutch? What if space gerbils finally attack?"


And I hear you, I truly do. There are exceptions and considerations all over the place. Point in fact, I never want to force someone into a decision via my decision. But I also, if being honest, view every delayed decision or half-assing "I'll see what you do" as dishonest. Just say what you're doing: you're hoping I mess up, and you wanna get an easy win, if you can.


I get it. I've lost SO MANY matches because the person I was throwing against suggested clutch, and I went along with it because I didn't want to be disagreeable. But I'm not quite talking about that.


5TH THROW DECISION MAKING IS ME TIME.

What I'm saying - what I've been doing, is to simply declare my 5th throw pretty much as soon as I pull my 4th axe from the boards (pending all those exceptions I mentioned above). I guess I don't care what my opponent is planning to do. I don't particularly care to confer with the other thrower. I'm gonna do what I'm gonna do, and we are all going to die sooner than we want - so why waste even a second doing this silly dance where both of us know what we want, but are engaged in some weird ritual where we try to seem both demure and indecisive.


Just throw yer dang axe. If you're not confident you can get a clutch, stay down. And if someone staying down makes you worried that you're gonna miss your clutch and they'll win, then stay down, too.


But whatever your fellow thrower decides does not affect whether you'll hit a clutch or not. That is written in the stars, as all clutches are. Truth of it is this: the 5th throw decision comes down to how confident you are in your throw. Not anything else, really. If you're finding yourself lacking confidence in that particular decision, you gotta do some work to make yourself more confident - and that "work" doesn't involve pulling a fast one on anyone your throwing against.

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