Much like the sister sport of axe throwing; chess, getting into the mind of your opponent while throwing is essential. There's plenty of talk about how we're all a community and there's so much love to be shared and had in the sport--but let's be honest: we're fighting a war against each other every single time we tap axes, and frankly I'm tired of acting like it's anything different.
So yah boi Badger is here to give you the inside info on how to get into the little grey cells of your opponent and throw them so far off their game, they'll think they're trying to clear a forest.
HEAD GAME 1: CREATE CONFUSION
This is the most obvious. If your opponent can't focus, chances are they're not gonna throw as well. Fortunately, IATF rules include an important, exploitable line: people can't wear anything in their ears to dampen sound. You gotta use that, soldier! Here are my suggestions:
Start singing lyrics from the 1989 Technotronic's hit: Pump Up the Jam. Do it with a straight face. Do it in falsetto. Make it fill their minds like a Belgian psyop. Nobody can focus with that banger going on in their dome. It's why the 90s were so weird.
Suggest, just in passing, that the boards they are throwing on are bad. Maybe it's a knot? Maybe one of the clutches is lower or higher? Maybe you heard that the bullseye is cursed? Who knows. But the idea that one of the boards is troublesome can be enough to confuse and confound. Extra points if you make the same claim about the target you were just throwing on, and flip-flop the claim whenever you switch sides.
Weird noises never go wrong. You've seen tennis. You know about the grunts and groans. But throw some bird song in there--but like, a kiwi bird or a shoebill stork. See how long you can sound like a zombie. Trust me. Just do it. Do it and film it and send it to me. For reasons.
HEAD GAME 2: TRY TO CONVINCE YOUR OPPONENT THEY ARE USING YOUR AXE
This one takes some conviction. Your job is to convince your opponent that somehow (don't ever explain exactly how) they are using your axe, and that you are using theirs. Now, this might sound like it won't work, and for a really obvious reason: you might not throw as well with their axe if, indeed, they fall for it. But worry not:
Once they swap axes with you (which they totally will), throw it once, and then say "Hey, why are you throwing with my axe?"
And that's the beauty of it. You'll convince them they are throwing the wrong axe, and then point out, correctly, that they in fact ARE throwing the wrong axe. Gaslighting always works, and has no long-term issues!
HEAD GAME 3: ASK "DOES THAT COUNT" AFTER EVERY THROW
This one is simple: just say "does that count?" every single time you throw. The beauty of this technique is that it can work in multiple ways. Besides being annoying, it can also seem like you're bragging. Nail a premier clutch and follow it up with a "does that count?". Your opponent will lose their gottam mind after the 2nd utterance.
And there you have it. A complete list on how to win the mind games of the sport and absolutely become the most popular thrower in your league.
“Nice to meet you”