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Writer's pictureMatthew Kabik

3 Axe Thrower Superstitions AND 3 PROVEN, ABSOLUTELY TRUE Solutions

Image of a black cat holding a cartoonishly drawn axe

Tomorrow is Friday the 13th, and I don't have a single ding dang thing to write about today, so I figured "well, my boy, why not try for a superstition post?" and here we are.


Now, I don't think this is a far stretch - any sport/group/community has its own sort of superstitious streak, and axe throwers notably have a bunch. So let me know what I missed in these axe thrower superstitions, and feel free to use these proven solutions in the future.


AXE THROWER SUPERSTITION NUMBER 1: DON'T SAY IT'S AN 81 RUN

There is NOTHING that bothers me more than when a scorekeeper/fellow thrower notices I'm one clutch away from an 81. I can feel the fates turning their eyes towards me and deciding "to hell with this guy." Some of you skeptics out there may say it's just pressure that makes one donk the final clutch throw, but to all those skeptics I say this: nuh-uh.


If you have the poor luck of someone bringing the evil eye's (pew pew) attention to your 81 match, there's only one, little-known thing to do.


THE FIX:

Spin in a circle once and say "eighteen, eighteen, eighteen. I don't even like this game!"


That'll throw the fates off your scent and you'll get an 81 no problem. For sure. If you miss your final clutch it's because you didn't do the fix right and not because of any other reason. Ya welcome.


AXE THROWER SUPERSTITION NUMBER 2: CHANGING YOUR ROUTINE

This routine can be, honestly, anything. For me, I spin my axe a few times after pulling it from the board (not, like, in the air. But in my hand. a little handle spin. It's cute. You'd think it's cute). It can also be a routine around moving your feet a certain way before throwing or closing one eye or how you show your score or WHATEVER. But the brain is a fickle noodle, and sometimes you forget to follow your routine. And babe, when you forget a part of your routine, you've done doomed yourself. Just ask the librarians of Alexandria - one of those goofs forgot to slap the top of a door when they walked through the entrance and the whole ding-dang place burned down.


THE FIX:

Do the part of the routine you forgot three times in a row without breaking eye contact with the other thrower. Don't explain anything. Don't ever acknowledge you did it.


AXE THROWER SUPERSTITION NUMBER 3: CLOTHING

A certain pair of socks. A particular bracelet. A special pair of undies. Many axe throwers have what I like to consider "support garments" that bring luck or comfort or whatever. And while this can lead to difficult conversations with partners about why you refuse to throw out a tee shirt that looks more like a dish rag, the value of these items cannot be overstated. Like a stuffed animal from youth, particular pieces of clothing have the power to scare off the monster of our own self doubt. But wash day comes around, or you are simply a forgetful person, and you may find yourself without [[clothing item]] when you need it most. Fear not, I am here for you:


THE FIX:

Ask people in your axe house if they have a good luck charm. Hell, ask everyone. Spend the rest of the time you're there stealing those lucky items and hiding them. Become a little raccoon. A trinket raccoon. I don't know how this will help you exactly, but hell, it'll bring me a lot of joy imagining you doing it.






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